


Hazel Eyes' Seduction

by TruffleBrownies



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Emotionally Hurt Dean Winchester, Emotionally Hurt Sam Winchester, Jealous Dean Winchester, Kissing, M/M, Past Jessica Moore/Sam Winchester, Pining, Self-Harm, Sibling Incest, Suicide Attempt, Whump, With A Twist
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-13
Updated: 2020-11-13
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:14:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27530575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TruffleBrownies/pseuds/TruffleBrownies
Summary: Dean was in love with his little brother and willing to give everything to him, even though Sam wouldn't feel the same way.Or he thought so.READ TAGS.
Relationships: Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester
Comments: 2
Kudos: 104





	Hazel Eyes' Seduction

**Author's Note:**

> this is inspired from a song Racing into the Night - YOASOBI listen to it [here ](https://youtu.be/DFA7iXV8agc) (eng ver!)
> 
> ** warning ** contained suicide!!!! if you're not okay or triggered by it, please close the tab.

Dean remembered the day he carried Sam out of the burning house.

First, 22 years ago. Another one, 2 weeks ago.

Still, he remembered the note Sam left him before he went to college.

He forgot all the reasons at the second he pinned Sam on the floor.

Sam wasn't different from their dad when they lost mom, and it _hurt_ because Dean knew how much dad loved their mother. He insisted on hunting down the thing that killed Jessica, and Dean couldn't say no.

Dean shoved the pleasure down deep in his heart, he shouldn't be happy when Jessica died.

But at least he got Sammy back to himself, even though it's not the way he wanted.

Dean was always jealous of that girl — to be cherished by Sammy, to get kissed and get fucked by Sammy.

Dean wished it was him who got all that.

"Wake up, sunshine." Sam woke him up at 5:45 in the morning and Dean yawned, Sam was coming from outside and the bed beside Dean wasn't used at all.

"You still have nightmares about Jessica, do you?"

Sam gave him a painful smile.

Dean's heart ached.

"It- it'll be okay, Sammy. I'm here for you."

"Thanks, Dean."

  
  


/////

  
  


Sam was having visions.

Weird bad ones, the ones that were nightmares, keeping his little brother to wake up at night, or he wouldn't sleep at all.

Dean wished it was him who had it.

He didn't like it when Sam was guilty about those visions and Jessica again.

One time he woke up at three in the morning to Sam's drunken cries, with a knife in his hand. There was blood on his wrist.

The cuts weren't that deep. Dean took the knife away and patched him up. He held Sam's wounded wrist, gently pulling him into a hug. Silently, Sam clutched his shirt as he snuggled into Dean's shoulder. The way Sam held him, the way he looked at him, made Dean want to cry.

He wanted to kiss Sam. He couldn't.

"You're okay now," Dean said quietly.

"Dean, promise me that you'll let me die. Next time. One time." Sam pleaded.

Dean swallowed his pain, smiling.

_Why didn't Sam see that he still had him? Why does his brother push him off all the time?_

"You're drunk, Sammy," Dean replied softly. "Just sleep, okay? Tomorrow will be fine."

Sam asked Dean if he could sleep in the same bed with him.

Dean nodded.

That night he was trying his best to silently take care of his erection.

Sam didn't startle, so Dean could cum with his tears falling on his cheeks.

  
  


/////

  
  


His brother tried to kill himself again, or, in fact, refused Dean's help.

Dean didn't want to believe that his brother got infected by that damn virus.

After those all special kids they found, Dean realized that's why it was always a wall between them. He would never understand what Sam was seeing. His abilities, his mind, everything. Dean didn't know a thing as he thought, and it made his heart throb in vain.

Even dad told him to kill Sam if things go out of control, but hell if Dean could do it. Dean knew from the bottom of his heart that he'd never, _never_ harm his precious brother for a bit.

Sam just chuckled, leaning on the desk across the room.

"Will you take me out when I'm turned?"

His hazel eyes were so gloomy. Dean hated that.

"Don't say that, Sam. We'll find a way to cure it."

"No, you don't understand!" Sam snapped back, grunting with those sad puppy eyes. "I'm so tired, Dean."

_I'm tired too._

"It'll be better if I'm not alive…"

Dean felt a sudden lump in his throat, tears threatening to fall from the corner of his eyes.

 _He wished he could say that_. No, because looking out for Sam was his responsibility since he was four. This job was carved into his bones.

It hurt so much.

"Let me die, you still can live," Sam smiled at him. The painful smile Dean always hated. "I just wanna die, Dean."

That's it. The pain was too much to endure.

 _"I just wanna die too!"_ Dean yelled.

"Do you?"

Sam looked up and smiled at him, it was so tender and bright. The widest one he could see on Sam's face these days.

Dean looked up, confused, before Sam walked over and _kissed_ him. The softness of his lips pressed on Dean's, sucking all his sadness away with that hot tongue.

Sam didn't say a word, but he swept Dean's tears away with his thumb. Dean could see those eyes became happy and alive again.

Suddenly, Dean realized everything.

If Sam wanted to go,

Dean would follow.

  
  


/////

  
  


Everything fell apart before his eyes.

Dean couldn't be there in time when that man ran to Sam and stabbed his back. Sam stumbled towards him, reaching out, before falling in Dean's arms.

His hands were painted with Sam's blood.

Sam's breath was gone. Heart stopped beating, and Dean's world stopped spinning, too.

"Sam- Sammy!"

A lump in his throat caused Dean to do nothing but choke out a sob, holding his brother in his arms. Bobby failed to go after Jake, that guy was just too fast. Dean sat there with Sam's large frame slumped down over him, he was still warm, and Dean clutched on his bloody shirt.

"Dean," Bobby called worriedly.

"Shut- shut up." Dean cried. "I wanna be alone. Please, just go."

Bobby became silent. Dean felt guilty as the older man walked away. He felt guilty as he nuzzled into Sam's neck, refusing to look at the stab wound on his back. There's so much blood, more than when Sam cut his wrist.

_It hurt so bad, the life that Sam didn't exist and breathing beside him._

Dean cried, the hardest one in his whole life. Everything he could see was Sam, Sam, _Sammy_ , and his gentle hazel eyes.

Anything else didn't matter anymore.

He pulled the knife Sam gave him as a birthday present out, lips twitching into a sad smile.

Even though Sam didn't see him important, Dean still longed for him with all of his heart.

"Don't let go of my hand, Sammy."

Alone out here, Dean kissed his brother's lips, shutting his eyes, and then the knife went through his fourth and fifth ribs.

While everything collided into black pieces,

his hand still found its way into Sam's.

  
  


/////

  
  


Dean woke up, feeling warm and pleasant. He looked down at his chest, frowning as he didn't see any blood. It didn't even hurt anymore.

The other thing he'd noticed was he was laying in someone's arms.

"Morning, De."

Dean jolted, turning around to meet those hazel eyes, glittering beautifully in the light as it flashed red, like the _king of hell_.

"...Sammy?"

"Welcome," Sam smiled and kissed him, again, and the feeling of it told Dean that this was _real_. "Took you long enough, huh? Big brother."

Dean bit his lips. "It was a setup, was it?"

All of them — the depression when he lost Jessica, the nightmares, his suicide talk, even his death, _everything_ was a set up to this moment.

Dean could feel his eyes flick into darkness.

He became a demon now, and Sam — since whenever — was their boyking.

All those death wishes after their reunion — he was willing to take Dean with him from the first place.

"I love you, Dean, my big brother." Sam whispered into his ear. Dean looked up at him, shivering. "It's always you I've wanted to be with. I know if I just talk, your hunter side wouldn't give in, so..."

 _"I love you, Sammy."_ Dean replied. "Please never let me go again…"

"Yeah, Dean. We'll be together forever. I promise."

His fingers entwined with Sam. They kissed; so passionate and full of love.

And it was the first time in forever that Dean felt real happiness.

**Author's Note:**

> this is a romantic love story. and cleary i should stop writing fic when i get depressed and can't sleep?
> 
> let me know what you think ♡


End file.
